Dieting? Go With Your Gut

In: Being in The Moment
Green-juice-for-weight-loss

I’m certain that the world’s eminent psychologists have never deduced from any clinical study that being thin results in happiness. Personal happiness is a complex subject, and more and more studies suggest that true happiness is derived from our ability to cope with setbacks coupled with an optimistic outlook. Those are the most important things to master to ensure a steady supply of endorphins. You heard it here first.

Given that, one would imagine we’d spend our lives earnestly cultivating an attitude of gratitude and an inner strength that would see us through the hard times.

Needless to say, most of us don’t.

We don’t intentionally avoid developing these traits, we’re just too preoccupied with other issues.

Like being skinny.

The average woman thinks more about weight than any other issue throughout the course of her lifetime. How depressing is that? Instead of thinking about the origin of the universe, creative genius, career progression, OUR CHILDREN, we focus on our weight. This is madness.

Leave aside for one moment that I made up that fact, and consider the possibility that it’s true. How depressing is that? It speaks volumes about how pressurized we feel to look tiny. This is without doubt the result of a culture that celebrates skinny. Who drives this culture? I don’t know, but I know it emanates from a blatant gender imbalance in the boardrooms of our global product labels. Every product marketed at a woman, unless it’s truly rebellious (which is rare) parades women with bodies some of us are genetically incapable of achieving. But the madness is that we try because we’re convinced it’s possible. This is marketing at its most manipulative and we’re too smart to fall for it.

I’m getting a little wiser as I go on and I’ve decided to turn my back on diet fads, having tried my hand at more than a few.

Here’s a small portion (no pun intended) of diets/lifestyle paths/regimes I’ve followed, along with my 3-word feelings summary:

  • Joshi’s holistic detox (deprived, weak, skinny) It worked but it was super hard.
  • Jason Vale’s ‘Slim for Life'(enlightened, focused, skinny) This is my all time favourite because it’s based on common sense.
  • Unislim (worried, obsessed, skinny) Counting ‘yums’ is not for people with busy minds
  • Ayurveda (enlightened, sensible, smug) This is a wise and ancient lifestyle choice and clearly the most considered, but it requires much study and commitment. Not for the super busy, hence why it didn’t work for me
  • Crazy, Sexy Diet by Kris Carr (perky, positive, starving). This was an extreme diet dressed up as a mega positive lifestyle choice. Lasted less than a week. I nearly died.

There were many more. I defy any woman to tell me she can’t think up at least ten diets she’s tried.

But where am I going with this?

No clue.

I’m joking, what I’m getting to is this: I’m over it.

So. Over. It.

I’m deliberately not following a regime this year. I’m going with common sense. Believe it or not, we’re born with instincts, and those instincts are perfectly programmed to lead us to healthy choices. Who doesn’t know that an apple is healthier than a Mars bar? And do we really need to watch an arrogant dietician dissect a stool sample while shaming the beastly maker of said stool sample with a face like this?

weight loss

I think we need to cop the fook on. I’m freestyling with my diet this January. I have a juicer and I know that green juice, which is loaded with chlorophyll, is good for my bones, eyeballs, big toe, arse, etc.It’s so very simple.  Do I need to know the nutritional gain of every single juice I drink? I don’t. I can go ahead and get busy reaping the benefits rather than agonizing over what I’m not getting, or what I could be getting more of. I’ll work with what I know and I’ll settle for that and be grateful that I have access to such life-enhancing food.

This frees up so much space inside. How liberating to think I can design my own personal version of a healthy diet rather than being led like a lemming to diet plans that might not even suit my constitution.

Animals are repulsed by foods that are bad for them. So are we when we’re in tune with our instincts. Connecting with my instincts, therefore, is my diet plan – now and for life. This doesn’t mean that you’ll find me sniffing my plate in a restaurant. It also doesn’t mean that I’ll never break out and have a Mars bar. Of course I will, don’t you know how fucking delicious they are?

I’ll use all my freed up mental energy to contemplate genuinely interesting things, like whether or not Stephen Hawkin’s admission that the existence of extraterrestrials is entirely feasible. Given that he’s quite a genius physicist, that’s astounding. When I’m feeling less pensive, maybe I’ll mull over which goes better with gin – cucumber or lime? Toughie.

I’ll leave you with this: Women, sisters, friends: be happy. More than that, be FREE. Those will lead you to your ideal body type quicker than any diet ever will.



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